ONLY OBESE PEOPLE ALLOWED

ONLY OBESE PEOPLE ALLOWED

August 29, 2019 100 By Bertrand Dibbert


alright guys so unfortunately I am the bearer of bad news you guys sent me a video and holy shit humanity is doomed there is a woman that is super fat okay now I’m talking about morbidly obese she enjoys McDonald’s a little bit too much now get this she created a salon for fair women only fat women and when I say fat I don’t mean slightly fat I need human Mountain babies what makes my salon different this is a plus-size friendly salon a plus-sized friendly salon plus-sized plus-sized I’m pretty sure we’re taking the word plus-sized and stretching it out to cross an entire spectrum plus-sized might be 20 30 40 pounds overweight not human mountain not hippopotamus not a battleship that’s up plus size that’s called being obese right up thank you okay hi my name is Sydney Lopez I’m the CEO and owner of Baby Doe Beauty to toast a lot and 31 years old see what I mean look this is a problem this woman has to sit down in a chair for two second ribbon cutting to the opening of her salon two seconds it took her two seconds to cut the ribbon yet she needed a chair when you have to sit in a chair to cut a ribbon you know you’re overweight so why are you making a salon dedicated to people that can’t even stand up on their own cuz they weigh too much I set up this place because I was humiliated in a regular salon I went there to get my hair done at one time and you know I went to sit down and greet my stylist and the chair loudly broke and all eyes are on me it was a really hard word for Han whoa time out you mean your hippopotamus ass managed to break an industrial salon chair can’t say I’m too surprised I can see it all now this woman comes rolling into her salon like actually rolling in she can’t walk if you’ve seen those arms now those lumpy legs there’s no way she could walk after a roller in through the door she gets in there sits in the chair and that hippos weights so heavy the chair just snaps like a toothpick all that weight goes splattering on the ground I mean shit I wouldn’t even be surprised if she caused an earthquake when she hit the ground after breaking that chair you know it’s bad when you start breaking chairs like you you know it’s time to lose weight when you go into a salon and break your chair most of us would be like all right it’s time to lose weight but hurt no it’s time to make a new salon for plus-sized women lucky girl so having a place where we go you can feel comfortable I’m really confident and I still feel out of place sometimes I’m from Texas I got texas-sized assets so when you come somewhere like this and and feel comfortable and not feel out of place you know $50 tax you right over here you know it’s worth everything here is custom-made and reinforced so there won’t be any humiliation or anything broken here’s a hole up to 800 pounds you know pedicure benches that hold up to 600 pounds waxing you know big girls want to get waxed – oh yeah for sure of course big girls want to be waxed but um since when did Hippos decided they wanted waxing – by the way 800 pound 800 pound capacity chairs in your salon I thought you were having plus-sized women come in not a fleet of trucks no it’s bad when you need reinforced chairs with the dust real great steel that’s used to resurrect giant buildings just to hold your thick ass up that is a problem one of these bbws will go and sit down in their salon chair when she gets up and leaves that chairs a few inches shorter there’s a whole it’s 800 pounds you know pedicure benches that hold up to 600 pounds waxing you know big girls want to get waxed – like everything is gold everything is glamorous you know so you won’t feel like oh you know you’re in this special chair no it’s not a special chair every chair here is the same I want significant they’re getting the royal treatment because they might be going through something on the inside you know they might not feel beautiful so when you come in my flats I serve you with a cup cake mimosas whatever you need to just relax and really get into your elevator oh no no no you were definitely born overweight and it has nothing to do with the cupcakes and the various high-calorie drinks you have no not at all see this is why we call you guys hippopotamuses battleships wrecking balls small planets you even manipulate gravity a little bit you know the ocean tides come in earlier with you out here it’s just like you’re you’re literally you’re literally catering to the obesity problem you should have salads where the sale is that I don’t see any salads fresh fish fruits and vegetables I see fattening foods and that’s your problem you know you wouldn’t need reinforced chairs if you ate clean instead of serving trash in your salon we’re looking at this all wrong instead of having chairs that can hold 800 pounds how about you invest in a treadmill that can hold 800 pounds then when these mountains come in and get their pits waxed instead of giving them a cupcake or a cookie you treat them to 15 minutes on the treadmill that can hold a minute Mountain how about that places like this they lift you up they boost you up as women we should be able to get beautiful anywhere I mean you can you can’t get beautiful anywhere no one’s stopping you for going in a normal salon the only thing stopping you from going anywhere to get beautiful is your own body I mean you could literally go to any salon it’s not the salons fault that your fat ass breaks in their chairs or you need a moving company and a crane to get you into the door it’s your own fault don’t blame then blame you this is my first time in the salon yes it will not at all you guys already have me hooked this will be the first time someone has been in my hair since I’ve been in Las Vegas but I can’t wait to see it’s more personable I’ve been to a nail salon and been turned away just because of my size and sitting there one of their seat oh no come on they turn me away just because of my size you act like this is some racist or homophobic shit it’s not their problem that you waste so much you break their chair I’ve been to a nail salon and been turned away just because of my size oh my god it’s a fat woman listen lady please leave my establishment I’m a piece of phobic all right I don’t serve your kind in here go to the other songs where they serve your kind are you kidding me it’s not it’s not like they hate you it’s just I can’t physically get you in a chair without you causing collateral damage I really like this it’s comfortable my mother has always told me you don’t be beautiful and who would I be not to believe my mother well I hate to say this but uh your mom was probably a compulsive liar because that shit is not true or it happened to be opposite day when she told you that because you can lose weight anytime you want you’re not born being big and you’re stuck with it for life you can lose weight when you put down those Doritos and also I was being blunt with you being obese is not beautiful at all we get a lot of strippers we get a lot of like dancers we do get some models we get a lot of like women that haven’t been to a salon and so long older women we get all kind of people whoa whoa whoa stop for a minute timeout strippers and models that need 800 pound chairs we got a lot of strippers I’m sorry lady but whales in the ocean don’t count that’s a whole different species but maybe she doesn’t know the difference I mean they are pretty close to size I hope to god she’s joking about the stripper part a stripper that weighs 800 pounds that’s a sight I don’t want to see look at those arms damn she’s got some thick biceps on her I’m not gonna lie I’m a little bit jealous if I had arms as big as hers I could probably I could curl a school bus I have this lady literally almost cried to me because she was so excited to be here and to like have a place like this that size and substance and that you know makes them feel good oh my god please tell me that’s not true look at this picture she’s not sitting in one extra-large chair she’s sitting in two chairs that are right next to each other just to sit down normally holy shit that is so sad she needs two chairs to sit down what is this world come to only in America only in America I love you thank you so much no that’s disabled you you may have a different style going on but uh you know inside that’s where it counts you’re still working just as hard to stay alive your hearts working extra hard you got to grease the cholesterol the the hard problems you sweat out the smell of McDonald’s it’s the same old you different style but if you want to die at 35 years old by all means feel better [Music]